Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
