Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
two words: eviction party
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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