i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
