Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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