Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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