he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
