We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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