2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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