at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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