My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
