if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
