Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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