you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Randomize
