I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
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Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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