she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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