i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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