going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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