I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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