Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
