I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
