I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
