I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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