We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
