State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
