so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
