So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize