i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
organizing the empties. That sober.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
