what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
