do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
