my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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