It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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