So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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