a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
