Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
