ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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