god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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