Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
