yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
