nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
