i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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