you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
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I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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