But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
