It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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