Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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