just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
