I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
