Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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