dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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