you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize