look no pants
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize