I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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