It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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