i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
