hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
