also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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