I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
