i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
