I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
