i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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