The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
