Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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