so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
