there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
